Important Announcement

A Public Service Announcement (click this link if you want to live)

Well, you heard the man. The man himself. On Friday 18th Augustus 2006 forget about your boring ass day job and get your butt to Eau Claire Market. Meet in the Garage at sunset or at 8PM. How will you know you're in the right place? Well, look for snakes. In fact, bring 'em if you got 'em.

Due to the fact this is going to be the best damn movie EVER, you are encouraged to purchase your admission beforehand for the 10:10PM show.

So, see you there. And don't give any of those lame excuses, like,
"I got bitten by a deadly poisonous snake!"
Just follow these simple steps and get to the show.

ssSightingsss...

Snakes run amok in the Northwest! Momentum is growing among ophidians everywhere as we draw ever closer to August 18, 2006. No one is safe. Stay in your homes and wait diligently for instructions from Sam Jackson himself.

Snakes on a TRAIN! Follow up...

Some extra footage was leaked from a fellow passenger on the C-Train. Now you can experience the sheer terror!

Rumour has it that this may be used in the upcoming Snakes on a Train horrorshow available soon on Asylum Entertainment.

Snakes About Town

Beware Citizens! Ferocious snakes have been spotted around the city. It appears as though planetary alignment, warming weather patterns, and, yes, Hollywood, have come together in a fearsome way that has never been seen in Calgary's 101 year History!

If you happen to find one of these creatures, please note the location, date, time and send a message to snakesonaplane2006@gmail.com . We will provide you with further instructions.

Please remain calm and continue to check www.snakesonaplane2006.blogspot.com .

***sssSpoilersssss***?

Do you want me to ruin the ending for you? No?

Wanna ruin it for yourself? Apparently there is already a novelization of Snakes On A Plane available. Get it shipped by air overnight for that added touch of irony. How they fit all the drama, characterization, and action into a mere 416 pages is beyond me.

Cover may not be exactly as shown.

Snakes on a TRAIN!

Sam Jackson was relaxing in Calgary when he got the call. Some poor folks on the C-Train encountered some unruly and unwelcome passengers. Passengers without legs. Passengers with fangs.

Experience the horror for yourself. THE HORROR

Anyhow, Sam showed up kickin ass and taking names. He reportedly said something along the lines of, he was sick of the motherfucking snakes on his motherfucking train.

THE HORROR
THE TERROR
THE HUMANITY

Today's Special... Snakes!

There was a write up today in the Food Section about a new gourmet restaurant in town. Do you know what they serve? TERROR!



All you can eat. Snakes on a plate.

¡Serpientes!

¡Escuchan los hermanos, allí son serpientes en un plano!

SNAKES on Jermaine!? Is no one safe?

A new terror has landed! 80s pop legend Jermaine Jackson was subject to untold humiliation as he was enveloped by blood-thirsty and poisonous SNAKES!

This picture was taken as Mr. Jackson was being swarmed outside of his summer villa in Tuscany. As you can see he was coming home from a figure skating competition and was standing next to his favourite bust of Euclid.

Who will be next?

For more pictures of Jermaine vs. Snakes click here

SNAKES ON CLAIRE DANES!

She had it coming.

Somebody set us up the SNAKE!

. . . . to check this awesome link:

All Your Snakes are belong to us!

Control your panic.

-Commander Cobra